August 2012
July 2012
Dear Actors' Equity,
Health insurance that I lose every 6 months is not insurance. By definition.
Kthx.
Your favorite disgruntled stage manager
Autistic Eagle: OK then... →
autisticeagle.tumblr.com
I am apparently the only person on the spectrum who is actually fine with the labels high- and low-functioning.
I really don’t see what the big deal is. It’s just a label. Autistics have so many labels now, I don’t see what the big deal is about two more that thankfully aren’t abused by the NT…
It IS used to devalue the lives of those considered lower functioning (read : nonverbal or limited verbal) and to institutionalize in the US. It is hurting people, even if that lies outside your experience. Also, it matters in discussions with allistic parents, who deem anyone able to use a computer as “too high functioning to matter” in autism discussions.
Also, it denies and devalues any functioning that is going on that simply isn’t apparent to an external observer. Someone who appears “low-functioning,” who is too disabled ever to work or live independently, may in fact be doing a great deal more internally in order to cope with their environment than I am in any given moment when I’m appearing “high-functioning.” Things are easier for me, but which one of us is really doing more functioning?
“The conventional wisdom here is that while “craft” can be taught, “art” remains a magical gift bestowed only by the gods. Not so. In large measure becoming an artist consists of learning to accept yourself, which makes your work personal, and in following your own voice, which makes your work distinctive. Clearly these qualities can be nurtured by others…. Even talent is rarely distinguishable, over the long run, from perseverance and lots of hard work.”
—
David Bayles & Ted Orland, Art & Fear (via jackrusher)
Formative book for me, as recommended by Robert Rodriguez. I’ve actually never finished it, as every time I get a copy I end up giving it away.
(via ronenreblogs)
*****
I will have to read this….
"You don't need this junk. You need a cat.": Different -- No Different →
youneedacat.tumblr.com
This is a reply to this post that got so carried away that I am making it a post of its own. Don’t worry, I do eventually address your post directly.
There’s something that happens. And I don’t know if it applies to how other people talk about us. But it definitely applies to how we talk about…
What’s really, really bizarre and confusing is being treated both ways simultaneously.
Yay: I genuinely like House, the show and the character. Not everything... →
draggle.tumblr.com
I genuinely like House, the show and the character. Not everything about either, but a lot. A whole lot. House reminds me more of myself than most Sherlock types, even though I am a stressbucket and sweet and someone who cares what people think. It’s probably his sense of humor.
My sister hated…
Love House. My psychiatrist got me turned on to him. Which is…awkward…and fitting….
“Emily. Don’t cheat yourself on butter.”
—One of very, very few complete sentences, or uses of my first name, that I can remember my grandfather ever speaking to me
Does this make me a bad person?
I’m afraid to have my own children; I’m afraid my extremely high-functioning, mild asperger’s syndrome will produce severely low-functioning autistic children. What’s worse, is that I see autism as being a wonderful thing, but I fear I could never handle the stress of raising this type of child.
For what it’s worth: There is strong evidence (both from personal knowledge of mine and journals and memoirs) that at least four of my direct ancestors, going back to the 1830’s, have been autistic. One after another, autistic parents had autistic children. And we just don’t have the records to know whether they would have been considered “high” or “low” functioning as children, but they grew up to be things like army nurses, doctors, farmers, artists, professional psychics (seriously), journalists, writers, engineers…and parents, every single one. And some of them were incredibly happy and satisfied with their lives, and some were incredibly lonely and alienated without ever being able to understand why, and some built themselves lives and families more or less indistinguishable from normal if you weren’t looking too closely, and some didn’t. And I would dare say that some of the autistic ones have been more happy and satisfied than some of our non-autistic relatives.
But it seems to me that they all believed in just living the heck out of your life. And they did. And since they never knew of any reason why they should hesitate to have children, they just had children. And the point of this is not to say “oh, don’t worry, look, my autistic grandparents all had autistic kids and we were all fine,” it’s that life is just…people say “life is what happens when you’re making other plans,” but I don’t think that’s quite right. We just all do the best we can, and that’s really it.
And lots of the “mildly” affected among us are desperately miserable with their lives, while lots of the more severely disabled are fairly happy. I think it has a lot to do with finding out what you really like to do, and someplace to do it that makes you feel useful and loved.
In one of the first shows I ever worked on, there was a line, “Be bold. Be brave. Live your life. That’s all there is.” And I go around telling myself that a lot.
If you’re going to have children at all, you may have a severely disabled child no matter what. Any of us could have a severely disabled child and have it be totally unrelated to our autism. So the fact that we could have a more severely autistic child is pretty arbitrary. We’ll raise that child as best we can, the same as we’d raise some other type of severely disabled child as best we could. I don’t think very many people think that they would have the energy to raise a severely disabled child, until they have to do it. And then most of them just do it. We would all just do what we had to do, exactly like we always have.
All of us just live the lives we’re given to live.
(But I fear these things, too. Not that kids are even on the horizon for me right now. But reading a few parent blogs of more severely autistic kids has helped a lot. Just to know what the full range of possibilities is, and how people learn to deal with it, and give each other knowledge and support.)
Meanwhile in Scotland....
…ministers shall be putting forth a bill by the end of the year that allows gay marriage. And, churches will not be forced into marrying them. Which means that nobody has to do something they don’t want to. Where’s your freedom now America?
Scotland <3
Awww, my little Scotland! <3
SCOTLAND!!!
“The first step towards getting somewhere is to decide that you are not going to stay where you are.”
—John Pierpont (via kari-shma)
Do any other autistics on tumblr have perfect pitch (or near perfect pitch)?
If you do, how do you deal with it? I sometimes get anxious when things are out of tune. Maybe it’s true for other people.
I’m the reverse. And I never hear about autistics who are the reverse.
It’s not that I can’t sing in tune, it’s that it takes hella effort, I sound like a cartoon, and I’m often typecast in performing as antagonists and drunks.
I’m the reverse!
We need to ban light. I mean, come on. A particle that’s simultaneously a wave? How am I supposed to explain that to my children?
Well, that was a weird show.
Not bad. Audience happy as ever. Just weird. Like the entire show was a couple beats off of its own time stream or something. Everyone felt it. No one knows why.
And now for an egg and cheese sandwich.
Myth 4: Demisexuality is Slut-Shaming
This has become especially relevant with some of the posts that I have seen in the past couple of hours. I suppose this one applies to asexual and grey-a people as well. People are usually quick to vocalize why they believe that the sexual orientations along the asexual spectrum are, by their very nature, slut-shaming. Demisexuality is a sexual orientation. Slut-shaming is a behavior.
The fact that I am allergic to peanuts does not mean that I hate people who put peanut butter on everything they eat. Being in a monogamous relationship does not imply the judgement of people who are polyamorous, or vice-versa. How then is someone saying “I really do not feel sexual attraction or desire except for the rare occasion when I have a strong emotional relationship with someone,” shaming anyone? It may be irritating for you if you desire to have a one night stand with that person and they aren’t interested, but really, their orientation is not a judgement on anyone else’s. Are demisexual/asexual/grey-a people capable of slut-shaming? Yes, but so are people of every other orientation. Every member of the asexual community I have ever discussed this issue with has basically said the same thing, which can be summarized as “I respect your right to make whatever sexual decisions you choose, please return the favor and respect mine as well.” I will not judge you if you have all the sex in the world. You are allowed to do so. If you enjoy it, and no one is being harmed in the process, I’m happy that you are happy. It’s not for me, but I am perfectly happy being me.
Bolded mine. Love, love love love.
Not exactly news: I know brave and wonderful people →
chavisory.wordpress.com
Two things:
1. A little over 12 years ago now, I was about to graduate from high school. And my church’s brand new pastor, Brian, thought it would be awesome if, for a spiritual rite of passage or something, me and the other graduating seniors–my childhood friends Jess and Nicole–had to plan an entire Sunday worship service and give the sermon. And I’ve never been reticent about saying “hells to the no” to things that I really, seriously don’t want to do…but I’d been in acting class that year past, and so this idea was not as petrifying to me as it might have been only a short time previously. In fact, I’d been half-wondering whether I felt a calling to the clergy myself, and so I thought this might actually be a good, challenging experiment. And so I said okay.
I wrote my sermon on how trusting in God often means being open to unexpected possibilities, including unexpected discoveries about ourselves. I remember sitting outside on the front steps of the church on a warm spring evening for a planning meeting, Brian approving of our sermon outlines and hymn selections, joking about what more humorous though inappropriate choices might have been. It wouldn’t be so bad. There was an order of worship; I knew how it went. I only had to actually speak for five to seven minutes, from prepared text; I’d done scenes longer than that. Jess and Nicky had to do it, too. If I could act, I could do this. And it would tell me something about myself.
And I did, and it was actually pretty awesome; even though I was fairly sure I wasn’t meant for the ministry, I wasn’t sure at all that I wasn’t destined for some kind of life in performance.
A few weeks ago, I was on the phone with my father when he asked whether I’d gotten Brian’s resignation letter in the mail.
WHAT?!?! I said. No, I had not. What was going on, what happened?!
But the news was good. Brian was leaving to become the executive director of the Covenant Network of Presbyterians, a national organization working to encourage better welcoming and inclusion of LGBT people in the church. And he’d been in a committed relationship with his partner, Troy, for the past nine years.
Given my own past couple of years, I know what it takes to decide that being open about who you really are, whatever the fallout may be, is just worth it. I don’t think I ever imagined that one day I’d get to be so proud of someone who I already liked and respected a lot and who had been a gentle and encouraging influence in choosing to do something immensely difficult all that time ago. I’m fairly sure I cackled for joy when I got off the phone.
******
2. This has already made the rounds of Facebook, and now it’s up on BoingBoing: earlier this week, my high school friend Chris returned his Eagle Scout medal in protest of the Boy Scouts of America’s recent decision to continue the organization’s ban of gay, bisexual or transgender scouts and leaders, joining a growing number of men who have done so.
I’ve always had a visceral dislike of the Boy Scouts on multiple levels, but the Eagle Scout award is the culmination of years of incredibly hard work, of which men who achieve it are rightfully proud. I didn’t realize until today that only 2.1 million scouts have earned Eagle Scout status…since 1911. So it’s, to say the least, not a trivial decision to give up the award, in order to uphold what it’s supposed to teach.
“Gay scouts and leaders have the right and obligation to be true to themselves. Homosexuality is not a moral deviance, bigotry is,” Chris wrote.
Maggie Koerth-Baker’s article and Chris Baker’s and several other men’s entire letters are here.
******
I think I agree with a friend who said this week that I clearly have good taste in friends. ;)
- Dumbledore: The dark forest is strictly forbidden to all students
- Dumbledore: Except for detention
- Dumbledore: Where you will be forced to wander around when it's darkest and scariest
- Dumbledore: Doesn't that make so much sense
- Dumbledore: I'm so good at rules
Photo of boy in public housing with an iPad prompts debate over what the poor should have →
nola.com
Our goal as a nation should be for every child in Public Housing to have an ereader or iPad or some form of portable screen with internet access. Our goal should be to insure that children growing up with the least advantages economically have more not less educational advantages.
An iPad is cheaper than most computers. It’s portability allows a child to use it outside rather than tethered inside an apartment that may not have working air conditioning. Aside from providing access to teachers, libraries and educational programs a device like this allows parents on assistance to shop grocery stores for the best deals and sales in order to make their food stamps go further, search for jobs and apply for unemployment more easily, and search for and apply for social services they may not have been aware of that can help their families.
As a nation we should be working tirelessly to prevent a digital poverty line by requiring companies to donate or provide affordable broadband, WiFi hot spots, ereaders and tablet in poor communities across the country.
Incidentally, the cost of an iPad is not an amount of money that’s preventing this kid’s family from owning or renting private housing, having insurance, higher education, etc. What does an iPad cost—$450-$600? Sounds like a deal for the access to reading material, innovative software, and self-taught computer literacy involved.
This is what people who aren’t poor, who criticize the poor for having basic technology, never get. What does a cell phone cost? Mine was free with my calling plan—about $65 a month. That’s not an amount of money that would buy me private insurance or allow me to move into safe and decently maintained housing. A laptop—$500 to $1000? That doesn’t even brush the cost of a bachelor’s degree anymore; that’s possibly a semester’s worth of books and pizza. “If you can’t afford not to be on public assistance, then you shouldn’t be able to afford [pretty much whatever] doesn’t hold up at all when you really look at the amounts of money involved.
$450 would not allow that family to not be on public assistance for a sustainable amount of time, but that iPad could very well be an educational lifeline for that kid.
The Rumpus: The Other One Percent →
therumpus.net
“On the inside I will always be the poor little girl who can’t go to the dentist. Who can’t go to the gynecologist when she has a yeast infection. Who will, instead, sit in the bathtub and cry. The poor little girl inside of me who rations nice things like soap. Who goes without until it hurts. Who buys the fancy cheese that is five dollars more not because it’s better but just because she can. Who looks for herself and her experience in literature, sometimes in her own literature, afraid of what she may see.”
When she writes that only 1% of the people in this country escape the socioeconomic class into which they were born, I wonder if she’s counting people who fall from a class rather than rising from one.
That’s what I did.
“One of the worst ways to stop someone from telling sexist jokes is to tell him the joke isn’t funny. He’ll assume that you’re humorless and that he needs to save the good stuff for the right audience. If you really want someone to stop telling sexist jokes, you need to tell him, “I don’t get it” and then step back as he tries not to say, “It’s funny because women are stupid.”
—
If This Isn’t From a Book, It Should Be (via gaircyrch)
Oooh, that’s good!
(via rosalarian)
******
I will so use this.
